Many people don’t realise that hyper-independence/individualism is a trauma response and can actually be a serious problem if not identified and worked on.
If you grew up in an environment where you were constantly disappointed by people close to you and had to train yourself to be self-sustaining, you could be dealing with hyper-independence in adulthood.
Hyper-independence shows up as:
- Trouble asking for help, even if the problem you have, threatens to harm you
- Trouble accepting compliments from people
- Trouble receiving favours from people
- The constant need to one-up someone who does a nice thing for you
- Constantly feeling indebted to people who do things for you
- Major trust issues
- Inability to develop meaningful relationships with people
- Not holding people to any standard
- Constantly expecting disappointment
- Difficulty working in a team in the workplace
- Trouble with group projects
- Micromanaging every aspect of your business
- Holding yourself back from expanding in your job role or business because you are terrified of giving out responsibilities or taking them on
- Being overly critical of yourself and at the same time struggling with receiving criticism from people
- You dread making promises and hate when people make promises to you because you already expect them not to keep it
- Suffering in silence because you are terrified of asking for help
If you find yourself with most of these characteristics, it’s time to heal. It’s time to work on yourself and let go of your past.
Whether you like it or not, these things show up everywhere- in your personal life, in your relationships with friends, life partner, kids and even work relationships, and in the way you run your business.
Therapy is not only for people with mental illnesses. If you find yourself in a repetitive pattern that does not serve you, it’s time to speak to a licensed Therapist about it.
