Yesterday after I was done with work, I began checking out my favorite Instagram handles for inspirational phrases.
I was perusing over a very big decision I needed to make before the end of the day and I just needed to find inspiration.
The first thing I saw was a quote by someone which said, “Arguments are about WHO IS RIGHT but discussions are about WHAT IS RIGHT”. It made me stop and think.
Many times, what we see in the comments section on social media is mostly arguments. After reading some posts and scrolling through the comments section, I would usually find one comment with up to 35 replies on it.
Over time, I have learned to just skip those comments and keep scrolling. Why? Well, because I already know that for a comment to have that many replies, the discussion might have likely degenerated into an argument, many times with insults already flying freely.
I like to keep my mind on only the positive and I like to intentionally steer clear of negativity, especially on social media where we are constantly bombarded with those kind of things.
Hence, I don’t spend my time going through those kind of comments to try to find out what started it and who was right (see the difference between arguments and discussions right there?)
Now I’m not saying that all the comments with 35 or more replies are argumentative comments, but really, how many of them are truly and purely discussions?
Sometimes, we innocently get sucked into these kind of argumentative comments by people who are hell-bent on causing arguments or people who just like having the last say. They may even be internet trolls who have nothing better to do with their time than to cause mayhem.
As adults, thought leaders, influencers and people who have a future that you’re actively working towards, my advise to you before you comment on someone else’s opinion, is to examine each statement made with these decision filters: Is this an argument or is this a discussion? Am I trying to prove I am right or am I trying to show what is right?
Sometimes it may be someone replying to your own comment with a different opinion. You want to apply those same filters: Is this person trying to argue with me or is this person trying to have a discussion with me? Are they trying to prove they are right or are they trying to show what’s right?
Doing this simple exercise will ensure you have less mess to clean up in the future. And please, you don’t have to comment your opinion on every post that doesn’t agree with you. Simply scroll past. It will save you time, energy, headache and your dignity.
I have applied this to commenting on social media posts, but it also works perfectly in your relationships with people offline as well. Wether it’s with your friend, your business partner, your colleague, your partner or spouse, your kids or parents and even your neighbors, the same applies.
My mother says that, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t talk at all”. Same thing applies to social media. If you don’t have anything nice to comment, keep scrolling. You don’t have to drink from everybody’s cup of tea.
